Countries vs. Programming Languages

[recoder]

• African click language communities = Punch cards
  — Click Click Clack Click Clack -> 11010 
• Mongolia = RPG
  — The ancient empire
• Aztecs = Lisp
  — Was once the most advanced but then got completely lost. We’ve been re-inventing it ever since
• China = Logowriter
  — It’s been around forever and you only do what Logowriter allows you. Turn 90 degrees right. Now.
• Vietnam = Assembly
  — Third world concepts that are much more efficient than a Big War Machine.
• Khazakstan = Cobol
  
• Israel = Scheme
  — Generally acknowledged as intrinsically powerful, despite its small size, but also because of the ideas it has generated. Strong idealistic or religious attachment for some; often viewed with antagonism by others. Language not mainstream but ancestor to many others. Very specific cultural appeal
• England = Smalltalk
  — Where most of civilized culture comes from.
• Canada = Ada
  — Structured, friendly, bureaucratic, what could be more Canadian?
• Sweden = Erlang
  — One word: Ericsson (and the cold)
• Hungary = Haskell
  — Because no one understands hungarian
• Ireland = Prolog
  — Both use weird logic
• France = Pascal
  — Pascal’s nationality not withstanding, who else tells you how you should be using their language more than the Academie Francaise?
• Germany = C
  — The most ruthlessly efficient
• Austria = C++
  — The people still speak German but they’re a bit friendlier
• India = PHP
  — Finally coming into the civilized world but still mostly used as a cheap hack
• Poland = Delphi
  — Was once great but its space had been invaded by others
• USA = Java
  — What other country has such a large bureaucracy with such a huge number of loopholes and inconsistencies?
  — Called a War On C but no one knows why
• Switzerland = C#
  — All they really want to do is make money.
• Japan = Ruby
  — By far the most advanced, at the forefront of the cutting edge. Also insane.
• South Korea = Python
  — Just as advanced in Ruby in most ways, and its rival.
• Vatican City = XML
  — XML isn’t really a language but that’s ok because Vatican City isn’t really a country.
  — Declares reality to be whatever it wants it to be.

© Guillaume Theoret, есть перевод от muranoff